DEAR LORD,
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO PRAY.
I GUESS I AM AGAIN RUSHING INTO THINGS THAT’S HAPPENING INTO MY LIFE.
AND I JUST CAN’T LET GO.

AFTER 5 YEARS, I FELL IN LOVE AGAIN.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS NOT THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.
HE IS JUST AN ORDINARY GUY WHO MAKES ME HAPPY IN SIMPLE WAYS.

IS HE THE RIGHT ONE FOR ME?
OR SHOULD I JUST LET HIM GO BECAUSE HE BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE?
IT REALLY HURTS MORE THAN THE PAIN I HAVE GONE THROUGH 5 YEARS AGO.

LORD, I THOUGHT HE WAS YOUR BDAY GIFT TO ME.
REMEMBER, YOU SET ME FREE FEW MONTHS BEFORE MY BDAY.
BUT I JUST WONDER WHY AT THIS MOMENT IT IS STILL A BIT UNCLEAR.
AND IT IS EVEN MORE HARDER.
I DON’T KNOW LORD WHAT SHOULD I DO.
AND WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

I AM AFRAID THAT I WILL GO BACK TO MY PAST IF I LOST HIM, BECAUSE I AM SCARED WHATS FUTURE IS GOING TO BRING.
WHY DID HE CAME INTO MY LIFE A YEAR AGO? AND IT TOOK TIME FOR ME TO ACCEPT HIM AS WHO HE WAS. BUT WHEN I WAS READY, HE WAS NOT.

LORD, YOU ARE THE GIVER. AND YOU ARE ALSO THE TAKER.
ONLY YOU CAN TAKE AWAY THIS FEELINGS IF IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE.
PLEASE HELP ME BEAR THE PAIN, IF IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE.
TEACH ME HOW TO ACCEPT THINGS, AND HELP ME TO BE PATIENT TO WAIT FOR YOUR PLANS FOR ME.

LORD GUIDE ME.
I THANK YOU FOR MY FRIENDS WHO NEVER CEASE LOVING ME AND LISTENING TO ME.

LORD, PLEASE PLAN MY LIFE. I AM NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER.
I WANNA START MY OWN FAMILY. A HUSBAND WHO WILL TRULY LOVE ME AND ACCEPT ME FOR WHAT I AM. I WANT A PERFECT HUSBAND WHICH IS GIVEN BY YOU.
IN THAT WAY, I KNEW I WILL NEVER GET HURT.

LORD IM TIRED.
IM TIRED OF HURTING.
IM TIRED OF GIVING MYSELF AND THEN WHATEVER IV DONE WILL ALL JUST BE WSTED.
CHANGE MY HEART.
CHANGE MY LIFE.

I was thinking of what would be my subject on my very first blog.
I've joined Xanga few weeks ago,but still I haven't got a topic to write.
Though I knew I had lots of thought in my mind.. thoughts that never stop to bother and thoughts that continue to linger deep in my heart.

In general, life was not really that great. With all this recession issues, life is so unpredictable.
In the office, it was not busy days for me that i find time to read,browse and let my mind explore.
I knew it was not good, browsing or doing something else during office hours. But it was not just hectic days for me these days. And just to make it more productive rather than browsing social network sites, i downloaded few e-books and read.

Maybe the next days, I can think of something interesting to write.
But not tonight.I'm in a relaxing mood, coz' tomorrow is a working day for me. And hopefully, I will be busy and productive.

Happy Valentines day to all!